Love is a very misunderstood concept… we associate love with the butterflies in the belly, we confuse love with attachment and dependency, with passion and possession. That is why people get tired of each other with the passing of the time… I believe love is not about that.
From what I have learned, love is something beyond what can be expressed with our rational mind, with the limited edges of the words. But because other forms of communication are still so inaccessible to me I want to give it a try with words. Love is a vibration, is a state of being and can only be built from inside out. Love and happiness (not ephemeral joy but pure and independent happiness) are states that vibrate on the same frequency. Love, as happiness, can’t depend on someone else, it is not something that we will receive from the outside. Love is an infinite spring that flows from our heart and it has to be cultivated by each of us. It is our responsibility to learn how to open the source again.
Some years ago I realized that for long time I was relying on others for my happiness. Sometime after that I started traveling in a search of learning how to be myself and to cultivate my inner happiness, my true state of love! I wanted to learn to be absolutely happy with who I am, without expecting someone else to manifest in my life to make me happy. After two years of traveling I started to accept and actually feeling quite peaceful and happy with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life… before that moment, just the idea of it, used to sound terrifying to me, there were so many conditionings and roles to be filled in my subconscious but at the same time so many insecurities and fears… That is why to finally accept myself as a whole self that didn’t need to be completed was such a beautiful experience. This process was the door for me to be able to see my partner, who was already on my path and not expecting anything from me but loving me as a human being. This was the door to start seeing through the eyes of love, to acknowledge and to open. It is only when we feel plenty with ourselves that we can really share our love with others.
Our true essence is love. Love is all about gratitude and appreciation, love is about appreciating our own selves first, and then appreciating each other. There is a beautiful quote by Osho: “If you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession, love is about appreciation.”
Appreciation is how the vibration of love becomes a verb, an action.
My philosophy teacher in India says that the difference between knowledge and wisdom is that knowledge is something you understand in your mind so you can repeat it and probably explain it with words. While wisdom is the experience of the knowledge, through which it is moved from the mind to the heart. It is through appreciating my partner (now my husband), that I have started to walk the journey of the wisdom of love.
It is through appreciating my partner that I am experiencing how to create a relationship through love. When I say I love him, it means that it is through him, that I am able to recognize the highest bliss of existence from my inner source of love to the outside. He became the threshold through which I choose to experience the unity.